Tuesday, July 3, 2012

How My Week Went 4

 I wish I could tell you all what an entrancing week I had but to tell the truth it's been a bit of a grind. I don't think it's too much to ask that I be allowed a few romps with these foolish bunnies, but FDPG is ever vigilant with them, despite their obvious stupidity.

I mean, look at them. Look at me.

They have no idea I'm watching them.

No idea at all.

It's almost boring preying on them. Such silly creatures. I mean, they even POO where they sit. Ick. The things I do for an appetizer.

But I persist, because one of them is getting lovely and plump. Here I am while they are getting their cage cleaned. I thought they'd want to make a break for it, but no, they just sat there, still as mice. I can't think why, but I waited a good 30 minutes and they hardly moved once. Very annoying.

Then they had the nerve to disturb my nap. There I was, sleeping as sound as can be, when they barreled up and started SNIFFING me. Once of them even nibbled on my Build-A-Bear basket. Now the stitching is uneven. I will have to get FDPG to fix it for me and she's a rather unmotivated seamstress. Sigh. Good help is so hard to find.

The things I have to endure.

Instead I put on my Build-A-Bear sunglasses and tried to ignore the indignity of the situation, but it was hard with all the snickers.

Those bunnies are just jealous. It's hard to wear sunglasses when you have such a tiny brain, err, I mean, head.

As opposed to mine.

Fortunately, there were some high moments in my week:

For example, here I am, demonstrating once again why I am such an excellent fit with this house. Don't we go well together? I think they must have had this floor installed to set off the highlights in my coat. The only trouble was, I had to sit like this for at least 10 minutes waiting for someone to take a photo of me. I call that very poor service.
 Even my iPod Holder is getting a little sloppy. Look at this photo! Don't I look like I'm in absolute agony? He hasn't a clue, tragically. He always forgets that I don't like Pitbull (the connotations are so odious, you know) and he never seems to remember that I prefer a little Arlo Guthrie in the morning, as opposed to Skrillex or Deadmau5. Arlo always looks so happy (if a little shaggy) on the covers of his CDs, and I like starting my mornings with happy music. Skrillex pains my ears, while Deadmau5 merely taunts me and my hungry tummy. Imagine what a mouthfull he'd be.

So I went and hid in Sheila's bedroom but FDPG followed me and started mauling me. I did my best to look aloof but it was hard with her squeezing me so tightly and saying idiotic things like "Who's a silky soft widdle pussycat?"

She doesn't take me as seriously as I would like. Must work on my glare a bit, I guess.

After that it was a simple matter of puking in the grass, killing a few mice, a dragonfly or two, and in for lunch.

Why they feel the need to document these undignified moments is beyond me. Just pretend I'm a lion in the jungle or something.





(oh, just a little feline wordplay - keep up with me, humans)

Finally, I gave up on everyone and went and hid in a tunnel in the back yard. Unfortunately I did not realize until it was too late that it was the bunny run and everyone - once again - was laughing at me. It was a tough week, I tell you.

 Well, that's it. Until next time, dear Readers. Until then, keep those cards and letters (and small dead rodents) coming!

Love, Catmera

 Read about my other adventures:

How I terrorized some budgies.

How Caesar got the better of me.

A Day in the Life of...Me! (who else?)


Suji said...

Yippee! A Toffee Update!
(some people live for these you know!)

Dash said...

Dear Mrs. Sheila,

Could you please ask Toffee to write more about his thrilling life?


sheila said...

Dear Dash,

I certainly will ask him - and hopefully he will share some of his latest exploits with us all. I know he's been very busy of late. Cats live such exciting lives!