Lies My Father Told Me

Technically the title should read "Weird Stories My Husband Told The Children" but it doesn't sound so atmospheric, somehow.

See this picture? I overheard Richard, while we were wandering on the beach on the weekend, telling the twins that the reason these waves are imprinted on the sand is because it's really a Crab Highway. "You know how crabs walk sideways, right?" he said confidentially, "well, these troughs are so the crabs can get from one end of the beach to the other without running into each other during the night, because let me tell you, it's grid-locked here come high tide. The crabs are EVERYWHERE!"

But wait, there's more!

Apparently the reason he needs to shave in the morning is because his family was so poor when he was a little kid that they had to eat cat food every day, and now he grows whiskers from eating all that cat food!

But wait, there's more!

Richard was having a coffee with God one day, and told God that he needed to invent something more interesting, just for him, so God invented beer. And now Richard has to drink beer so he doesn't make God feel bad.

Hmmm. I wonder what else he's told them.