Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Webkinz Gone Wild

I blame my sister. She bought the first Webkinz that ever entered this house. It was all her fault. If she hadn't bought that first pink fuzzy disco-booted Webkinz we'd never be having the wild exciting times we've been having lately.

Like, err, having Webkinz birthdays.

Did you know that when you log your Webkinz onto the Internet, with the Top Secret Code attached to their foot, they get assigned a REAL LIVE BIRTHDAY? One that is on some arbitrary date the happy happy people at Webkinz have just dreamed up? A date where one's happy happy pet can get a happy happy birthday card from the happy happy folks at Webkinz? And that happy happy card explodes with all kinds of sparkles and bubbles that one's parents just can't hope to replicate in real life?

Well, let me tell you that they do. They really do. And it's all wonderfully exciting. They even get a birth certificate that tells their new owner what their favourite food is AND what their best friend is (and in the weird and wonderful world that is the Webkinz universe this can be ANYONE Sheila says wearily). And lest I sound bitter and ever so resentful, let me tell you that this little Webkinz pet has opened up a whole new wild and crazy Webkinz portal in our house:

One where FDPG can buy a FRIDGE! Or a BOOKCASE! Or a STOVE! Or even, gasp-amighty, a NEW ROOM OF HER CHOOSING TO PUT WHATEVER SHE WANTS IN IT. She can get a GARDEN! She can grow vegetables! Or fruits! Or just bounce the heck out of a trampoline!

Too many caps for you?

Ha.

Share my pain, pal.

Anyhow, we now have a bunch of Webkinz that the twins think are real love. FDPG has a lurid pink pony with disco boots (according to Richard) named Paddy, a black Friesan pony named Patrick, a white cat named Rose, a hedgehog named Hedgie, and a blue jay named Jay.

Dominic, following in his it has to be black or white obsession, has a penguin named Wally, a polar bear named Polar, and a killer whale named Killer (but since Webkinz won't allow the word "Killer" in their happy happy lexicon he had to substitute "Orca" on Killer's birth certificate).

If it ain't black or white, he doesn't want it.

For everyone but disco-booted Paddy we can thank my mother.

Gee, mum, thanks.

Sigh.

So it was that the other day that Wally the Penguin had a birthday. I think he was one year old. (argh, FDPG is reading this over my shoulder and has just reminded me that Jay's birthday is on Valentine's day - gosh the fun just waiting for me) And since we'd all had a relatively uninteresting day up till that point, I thought "What the heck, let's let the twins go wild with this strange and almost creepy concept."

Go for it, I said.

The twins made birthday cards.

The twins made elaborate birthday plans: sailing parties for Wally, snowboarding races for Wally, skiing parties for Wally, hot tubs, and massages (for me, hopefully).

The twins made blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Wally gobbled them down, apparently. I didn't actually see him eat any, because I was too shocked at the sight of FDPG gobbling them down. That FDPG, she sure likes blueberries.

Dominic made sushi for dinner. Wally loves sushi, according to Dominic. It's his favorite thing. Sushi with salmon and avocado and yellow peppers. Hmmm. The fact that it's the twins' favourite thing too shouldn't make ANYONE suspicious, should it?










Wally ate a lot of sushi. He made a pig out of himself, truth be told. He stole everyone's chopsticks and raced around from plate to plate. It was all we could do to keep a few pieces for ourselves. Who ever knew that penguins were such gluttons for sushi?


Then, he drank everyone's mango juice. It was great cause for great hilarity.











He caused a great deal of mirth when he finally collapsed, too glutted to walk anymore. He stuck his stomach up in the air, and smiled a lot.

He might have been helped somewhat by Richard's hand.











Happy Birthday Wally!

Thanks for bringing such festivities to our lives.

5 comments:

Andrea said...

Okay, now that is the hardest I have EVER laughed reading your blog... and I laugh ALOT reading your blog! We have this same portal in our house, too. What a marketing ploy, eh? We've had lots of discussions about marketing...

Samantha said...

OH MY GOSH YOU ARE TOO FUNNY SHEILA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never heard of Webkinz, so they have not invaded my house. And all of a sudden, the massive pile of Bionicles that live here don't seem all that bad - but I wont tell my son that of course ;-)

sheila said...

WHAT a marketing ploy, eh, Andrea? It's incredible. And I never even started on the difference between the regular Webkinz and their Lil' Webkinz brethren. Ugh. The only good to come out of this is that both the twins now know how to open a new tab on Safari. Most useful!

sheila said...

Gosh, BIONICLES? Oh Samantha. Maybe one day I will write about those things. Those ugly pieces of Lego brilliance. I thought we'd escaped those, but when we moved here it turned out that some of the kids' friends just LOVE Bionicles, so of course my boys do too now. We've even had friends in Belllingham act as a go-between for a hard-to-find one. Although I have to confess getting a certain amusement from some of their names, like the one that has the Mask of Life. Imagine having a Mask of Life? Think of the possibilities!

shaun said...

I have lost count of our Webkinz -- and I haven't purchased any of them either. Luckily, my kids don't seem to have the patience for playing much online once they get registered.

But I can't show them the sushi pics or they'll never stop pestering me!