How To Turn A Crappy Old Plastic Pot

...into something moderately aesthetic.

Or, as Dominic said " When I first saw that pot I thought it looked really junky. Now it looks like something you'd buy in a store."

That's the idea, you clever boy you.

I needed a Mother's Day present for my mother, so I went to Home Despot, thinking I'd get a container and some little plants to put in it. I bought some annuals: Potato Vine (Ipomoea batatas), Coleus, Bacopa "Taifun Mega White," and ivy geraniums "Pacific Merlot." I bought some soil. Then I went to the container section and did a double take. Thirty dollars for a pretty green planter? Ugh. Have I ever mentioned how cheap I am? (hope my mum isn't reading this) Or how tragic my bank account it? Or how cheap I —

Thus thwarted by ole Home Expensepot, and disinclined to go elsewhere in case it only got worse, I went home with the annuals and the soil and rummaged around in my garden storage area. No terracotta pots. Well, there was one, but it was the one I use to force my rhubarb every year. Couldn't get rid of that. No nice plastic pots either. There were two plastic pots that were the right size, but both of them looked pretty ugly: scratched and stained.

The wheels spin in Sheila's head while she considers various scenarios.

Then...a flashback...

Once upon a time, long long ago, I entered a garden competition for a Canadian home & garden magazine. It was a container garden competition. I was living in a little basement suite with lots of potted herbs and things, and it seemed like a fun sort of thing to do. I liked gardening, although at the time I knew next to nothing about it. But the second prize really appealed to me: an espresso machine. I could see that espresso machine sitting on my counter top. I could see it foaming and hissing. I could see me drinking espresso, laced with a little cream and brandy. So I entered that contest. In order to spice up my bland green and black nursery containers, I hauled out my acrylic paints and brushes (have I ever mentioned that I was a face-painting clown in another life?) and painted them with bright colours, wild animals, and geometric designs. They looked better than the plants did, to be honest.

And whadday know but I won.

Very sadly, I did not win the espresso machine. It was the second prize, and I won the first prize. I tried to convince the judges to give me the second prize, and to give the second prize winner the first prize (a gift certificate to a Colour Your World paint store) but they wouldn't go for it. So I gave my parents the paint certificate. Made me look exceedingly benevolent towards my poor, long-suffering parents and made their kitchen look pretty good.

Where was I?

Oh yes. Mother's Day presents.

After that little flashback, I knew what I could do. I hauled out one of the grubby, stained, scraped plastic pots (you know, the kind with the Faux Terracotta look) and gave it a mini power wash with my hose. I stared at it hopefully. It didn't look that bad now.

FDPG sauntered over to where I was standing, and stared at the pot with me. She chortled. "That's sure an ugly pot!" she said gleefully. "I don't think Nanna will like that much!"

Harumph.

And now, here it is, a few short hours and several coats of acrylic paint later. I'm not finished with it yet, but it's coming along. Instead of the Faux Terracotta, it now has a Faux Giraffe look. I'll post another shot when I'm done, assuming it looks better than this. If I don't post another shot, you'll know that you saw its best moment in time.