Thursday, September 10, 2009

Twitting My Day Away

More silliness from the back of my mind (and one from the Onion):

"There was too much friction on the table - it should have slid" (Max, grasping at straws in a futile attempt to explain why his mug of tea skidded across the table and tipped over onto the newspaper)

"Do you think you'll ever go over to the Dark Side?" (FDPG to Dominic)

"They're fun, they're fashionable...and if you made them life-size, their heads would be 5 feet in circumference." Finally, something that vindicates my dislike of those uggalleeeee Bratz dolls.

"You might think you know what's going on in my head but you don't. I don't even know what's going on in my head." (Max to me, curiously lucid on his impending teenage self)

Someone just called their dog Yangtze River Number Two. And paid 352,000 pounds for it. Gosh, and there was me thinking Sparrow was a dorky name (and if you don't know what I'm talking about, you obviously aren't as engaged in trivial meaningless gossip as I am).


Rebecca said...

I haven't delved into twittering (not even the satirical sort) so I'm going to share my big twit moment today - here. Lucky you.

Conversation after DH stepped in dog poop with his bare foot. "So, you still have that squishy feeling between your toes?" "Yes!" "Even after you washed your feet with antibacterial soap under hot water for 10 minutes?" "Yes!" "Even after swabbing with rubbing alcohol?" "Yes!" "You do know that it's not possible for anything to survive all that?" "Atoms." "Really, it's only the bacteria that's a problem. The rest of it is compost."

It was funny at the time. To me, at least.

sheila said...




I can still feel it between my toes! Ewww!

Now, what I REALLY want to know is this: where WAS that dog poop Rebecca? Twit readers want, nay, DEMAND to know. Where was it? And has that area been sterilized before anyone else will set foot on it? (gosh, I think that means that we're equally neurotic about Things Like This)

Have you tried Pink Solution? Acid?

Rebecca said...

Figg hasn't figured out an efficient method to let us know when he really has to go. We (uh, that means G.) take him out on a regular basis so he doesn't have accidents, but this happened about 5 minutes after his morning pee. Apparently, the treat I gave him got the old g.i. tract moving. So, he was shadowing G. to let him know he needed to go out (no barking, no whining, no scratching at the door - just "shadowing"), which is what he does most of the time anyway, so hard to know what's what. And then he quietly pinches off a little bit of you-know-what just to let us know he's in need. But G. doesn't see it as somehow it rolled out of sight under the open dishwasher door and it wasn't until G. planted his foot that... well, I think you've got the rest of the story.

And yes, disinfection (plus Nature's Miracle) happened. Liberally.

Um, happy you asked?

BTW, A. just spotted the biggest spider ever lurking by the baseboards in the kitchen... seriously, the body was as big as my little finger (2 joints worth) and the span of the legs filled my palm. He actually convulsed when I squished him. I've never been so freaked (but G. was doing the recycling and had his hands full, so it had to be me - I'm still shaking).

sheila said...

Rebecca, I am THRILLED that I asked. Mind you, I still say things like "I need to pee" right in front of my parents when we're out somewhere, without any shame whatsoever. Half the time I don't even notice I've said something that would normally ostracise me somewhere else. Until I catch the looks they're giving me. It comes from hanging out too much with kids, I think.

Spiders? I hate spiders - in the house. Today I braved the wilds of my tomato patch and saw a lot of garden spiders, but if anything comes in the house it generally will die if I have the option. Especially if it's a wolf spider. But I want you to know that I did not kill those snakes and today I screamed loud enough to call out ALL my neighbours when the mother snake and I crossed paths in the back yard. It did back flips it was so startled. I think I might even have peed myself. Oops, sorry. Cross that out. I was scared. Really scared. I have no wits left I was so scared.

Samantha said...

AHHHHHHH What a hilarious thing to wake up to!!! (p.s. now I get the sock comment)

First off, major sorrys to G but I was laughing my head off at your dramatization of the foot in poo tale. Hilarious! Even though I'm slightly fecal-phobic (which is why I can't have a dog) I could still laugh. I'm sure one day he himself will look back and laugh at it as well.

Second - I can't believe you both kill spiders!! Lee Valley has a lovely bug catcher that keeps you at a good distance to scoop them up. I can't step on or vacuum them up, so this was the greatest find for me. I'm crunch-phobic so the idea of squashing a spider and hearing the crunch terrifies me. I cringed when I read about that spider. My cat doesn't have my issues though, so I often find ones that he has played with.

Lastly, I often say I need to pee. I think I said it at least twice at the park yesterday, totally not realizing I was making a social faux pas. Oops!

Rebecca said...

When a spider is as large as a small dog, I cannot show mercy. And I do have that Lee Valley tool (made in Britain) but it's in my garage. Where the majority of the spiders live. But in my house? Sorry. I have to draw the line somewhere.

BTW, present for you Sheila. On my bloggy blog.

Suji said...

LOL, we don't spare the poo and wee words here either :) Hey, aren't these natural stuff after all?

BTW has Dominic gone over to the Dark Side yet? DH (Darth Sidious wannabe) has been trying hard to recruit DS since babyhood.

sheila said...

I will ask Dominic, Suji, but just from minor observations I'd say he goes over to the Dark Side at least twice a day. He and Max quote something Darth Sidious says to Yoda, too, and then laugh hysterically. I wish I could remember it but they're both in bed and my memory has temporarily deserted me...