Bow Tie Protocol 101

Going to a fancy dress party this Christmas time? Need to know how to tie your bows? Check this fellow out. Just don't look at the sidebars, which claim to help you "Undo her bra with one hand" or "Care for your komodo dragon." Who knows, maybe you do want to know those things, but it strikes me that someone who has a komodo dragon really has no business undoing bras with one hand. What's the other hand doing? Holding down the dragon?