# When picking husband up at airport, go directly to Arrivals gate. Don't get side-tracked by the Argentina vs. Mexico game in the lounge. He will take this somewhat personally.
# Snakes like straw. It's a fact. Deal with it.
# When people give you tips on pruning fig trees, write them down. Do not trust these things to your memory.
# Try not to let the fact that eldest son walks around randomly punctuating every comment anyone makes with the word "LOL" (pronounced "loll") drive you insane.
# If you wake up at 6am to watch a World Cup game, you will be tired by lunch. You might also be slightly irritable.
# Remember that your children will repeat amusing phrases they hear on the BBC's Horrible Histories. Phrases like "I'm so random!" will follow you where ever you go. Tip: earplugs.